I didn't run today, but started P90X with Luke and Leah today. My goal is just to stick with it. I have been doing Power 90 (the program before P90X) for several months now and feel comfortable with it.

I did okay today with the workout. I probably used weights that were too light (from what Luke said), but wanted to start out easy. Then the AB RIPPER was turned on! UGH! I was hurting by the second exercise! UGH!

I know this will work if I stick with it. I also ate really well today, but wound up eating only 830 calories! That is not good! I ate more fruits and veggies today so it kept my calorie count down, but I know I need to take in more calories than that.

I planned on walking after the workout, but my whole body felt like jello. I am not sure how I can run/walk AND P90X. You only get one day to rest in this program and it is 90 days long. I do think it will make me stronger in order to run........in the long run.

Great weather this morning. Ran/walked 2.5 miles. Stronger run this morning which is a good thing since I ate that pizza and cookie dough yesterday! :) Veggies on tap for me today.

Today was a short walk/run, only 1.6 miles. I had to get up early to get it done and then my family needed me. I wanted to beat the rain and I am also keeping a friend's little one this morning.

I like these pavement shoes much better than my new trail shoes. They are so comfy! I did run more of the steeper hills today. Hard, but good.

Eating well. Big breakfast after my run:

5:00am coffee/cream
7:30am mini multi grain bagel
peanut butter
high fiber yogurt
2 glasses of water

Okay, so last week I gained and didn't post about it since I was so distracted about retreat. This week I am back down. So far I have lost a total of 4.2 pounds. I am grateful. Hoping to get outside again today. First school, though.

Walked/ran 3.6 miles: around the pavement, down to the mailbox, back up the hill, halfway back down the hill and back up, to the house, back around the pavement then home. It was a bit slow for me today. I don't know if it is my shoes or what. I used the trail shoes today and they still seem so heavy. At least my legs feel heavy. I ran til I couldn't run, then walked. Ran then walked. Kind of frustrating, so I just stayed out there as long as I could. Went for endurance rather than speed.

Absolutely beautiful day for it!

I did 4 miles today. I wanted to try out my trail running shoes, so I did the dirt road twice. I'm not too sure about my new shoes. My feet and my shins hurt a little bit as I started out and my feet felt heavy. I walked and ran. I made myself run uphill the second time around. Everytime I came to a hill, I made myself run if I was walking and run harder if I was jogging. It was a good exercise in perseverance. The weather was beautiful, but my legs felt sluggish. I also did more sprints in my time today. I would sprint, then walk a bit, then sprint again, usually uphill. I liked the challenge. By the end of my walk/run, my feet felt better, but I don't know who helped me walk up that last hill. It was like an out-of-body experience. I didn't feel anything. Oh well, at least I got it done! Hope my shoes get more comfortable. My Eccos felt better on the dirt road that these did today. We'll see.

Shamefully, I skipped breakfast (which might have been my energy problem). Here's what I have had today so far:

coffee/cream 50 cal

sandwich thin w/ cheese 180 cal

blueberries (25) 20 cal

Water, water, water (4-5 glasses so far)

God went ahead of me in some shopping I had to do today. I am so excited! I have been researching running shoes for about a week now. I knew that my Ecco shoes were breaking down (I've really used them too long) because the inside of my left foot began to ache as well as my heel on my left foot.

I also was intrigued by the iPod nano thing that Nike has going to keep track of your runs and you can make friends, etc. I was excited about maybe finding a pair of Nike shoes to do this.

So today I went to the store with a list of shoes to look for. I was in the market to buy two pairs of running shoes: one for the pavement and one for the dirt road. I felt that I needed more support on the dirt road. I looked up stores in our area that carry Nike and when I got there, they were out of business. I guess we don't have an official "running" store????? So I headed across the street to Academy Sports.

I was looking for the women's running shoes and went down every aisle. When I was on the clearance aisle (looking for the right aisle because they have changed things around), there was one of the Nike shoes on my list. So I picked it up to look at it so I would know what to look for when I found the right aisle and would you believe it?! It was a size 9!!!! My size!!!! They are $90 shoes and I got them for $39!!!! God is so kind!

Smiling I headed out to look for the trail shoes I wanted. They carried one close to the one I was looking for and I bought both pairs of shoes for less than what I paid for my Eccos (which I loved by the way). I was, no AM, so excited! God has a way of giving us small gifts like that and I am soooo appreciative!

Next I was looking for an iPod Nano. I have a big iPod which my loving hubby bought me for my trip to England a few years back, but it won't fit into my pockets when I run. I wanted something smaller. My daughter has a Nano, but it is a 2GB and I really wanted at least an 8GB. So off I go to price an iPod Nano. I called sweet hubby to talk about prices and what I was finding. Then he says, "I have points on my card. Let me see if I have enough for an iPod." He called me back and God did it again! He had 30,000 points and a 16GB iPod Nano is 28,000. We didn't have to pay anything! I couldn't wait to get home with all of my goodies and go run!

Of course, I don't have my Nano yet. It was ordered today, but I am putting my songlists together and I did run in my new shoes today (2.5 miles). They felt great! My toes didn't fall asleep. The inside of my left foot didn't hurt. I think the pavement ones are a great fit for me. Tomorrow I will try out the trail ones on the dirt road.

My run was a little slow today, but I was out there. I waited too late in the day to run, but I had to get out of the house early today. It was only 75 degrees, but I felt it in my breathing. I think I will have to learn to run earlier. I usually reserve my early time of day for me and the Lord, but I might have to work in a good run in there somehow. I'll let ya know how it goes.

Thank You, Lord, for my gifts today. Now help me press on!

Perseverance

I went out for my walk/run today. Last week I noticed that my shoes had broken down some in the arch/heel areas because my feet hurt last Wednesday and Thursday when I ran. Because of things going on, I knew I wouldn't be able to get new shoes before this week.

So today I went out, knowing that I would just walk today. I walked and walked. I knew I would have to walk longer in order to get the calories burned, but I didn't anticipate walking for almost 90 minutes, but that's what happened. I had much wrestling with the Lord to do and needed the encouragement that Sovereign Grace music gave to me through my iPod.

Walking out here in the country means that I will usually either walk/run the pavement which usually takes 3 times around to get 2.5 miles. That is usually my goal: 2-3 miles. If I decide to walk to the mailbox, I have to walk on the dirt road which is all uphill from my house TO the mailbox, but mostly downhill on the way back. That is, after you finish the "big hill." The "big hill" is the hill that is right after you pull through our gate. It is about 500-600 feet long, but pretty steep. I usually have to do some mental games to get myself up the hill. About halfway up, I long to take a break, but try to make myself just take the next step. Just keep moving.

Once I am at the top, I feel so ready to start my run and I run all the way home. It is almost a mile down to the mailbox and a mile back, so I can get in 2 miles from "doing the dirt road" one time. And it is a good walk/run because of the hills.

While I was on the walk today, my FIL drove by very slowly. When he reached me, he rolled down his window and asked me, "Do you want me to stir up some dust?" He was kind and drove slowly so that I didn't have to walk through dust.

All of this had me thinking. Last week was a week that brought some storms into my life spiritually. I have been on the edge of despairing for a few days now, being very discouraged. As I walked today, rehearsing the verse that God keeps taking me back to about His strength being made perfect in my weakness, I found Him revealing other truths about my life right now.

Some days we can't run spiritually, can we? We are discouraged or tired, weakened by attacks from Satan or sin. But that doesn't mean I have to quit. My spirit today would like to lie in bed, feeling sorry for myself, but God calls me to persevere. Today my body needed exercise even though I couldn't run. I just had to take the next step and do the next thing: walk. Just keep moving. Just keep seeking the Lord even when I desire to quit. Just keep letting Him move me when I don't feel like moving.

Then when I got to the hill and once again I wanted to stop in the middle, halfway up, instead I walked a zigzag up the hill so that I could keep going. It was a different way to walk, a bit of a different route to take, but I just kept going. Kept persevering. Often God's path to spiritual growth looks very different from what we plan, desire or expect. But it is still the path to spiritual growth. I was still going up the hill, eventually reaching the top. I need to keep walking God's path, as much as He shows me each day, eventually reaching heaven! What a day that will be!

Today I found myself looking down a lot. Like on the big hill, I never look up to see where I am headed. It makes me weak. I look at the ground, at the next step. It reminded me that God gives me grace for today. He doesn't ask me to extend faith for next week or next year, but today, in what He shows me and gives to me, I am to respond in faith. And usually I find that that is just doing the next step. Elizabeth Elliot when talking about how she endured her husband's murder by the Indians he was desiring to reach for the Lord, said she just got up and "did the next thing." It was how she coped. Today I just took the next step in front of me to reach the top. Spiritually, I am asking the Lord to help me take the next step that He asks of me and shows me in order to reach maturity in Christ and eventually glorification in heaven. I so long to receive the crown of glory and hear Him say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

There were bigger rocks on the path today. I am not sure if it was because of recent rain or the fact that my son has been trying to use shale to fill pot holes on the road. Once I stumbled on a new rock, but caught myself before falling. Application to me: there will be obstacles on the path to holiness. There will be stumbling blocks that tempt us to despair and give up. But God calls us to press on. If we fall, get up and call on Him to help us again to move forward.

And dust. Well, there will be things, situations or people that "stir up dust" on our journey. How will we deal with it? If I were on the road and dust was stirred up, I would have to wait til it settled. Sometimes we just have to wait on the Lord to move. We have to wait on His timing which is perfect. We have to wait for Him to show us the next step because it seem so unclear.

Right now a lot of things seem so unclear. I don't know what it is about deep, soul pain that makes it difficult for me to think clearly, but it is true. I long to think clearly, but it seems that today all I can do is quote Scripture to myself because I can't even process what I think I need to. Maybe God doesn't need me to process it. Maybe He just desires me to cling to Him and His Word. Keep going back there over and over again so that I am speaking to myself instead of listening to myself. I just feel this heavy fog over my head and I just can't seem to know or understand or discern.

So I will wait on Him. I will cling to the Scripture that He continues to give to me. I will remember that He says this: "My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in your weakness.......when you are weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

Lord, help me to keep walking even when I am used to running and want to crawl into bed. Help me just keep walking by faith.

I went out and walked a second time down the dirt road to the mailbox. Just needed more time with the Lord, listening to Shannon Wexelberg. Total mileage today: 6.33 miles.